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This column is a natural product

By S.K. Bardwell
Posted Monday, January 14, 2008

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Have you ever bought some lovely little handcrafted item and found a little tag on it that says, basically, it’s handmade and so will differ from all the others on the shelf, and this difference is good, not bad?

I never thought much about it until recently, when a friend of mine sent me an e-mail at the end of which was the legend: “This mail is a natural product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.”

What a great idea. And it started me thinking about the whole “natural” marketing trend, which is applied to food, clothing, craftwork, cleaning solutions and fuel these days.

Perhaps I should add a “natural” postscript to everything I write. To the food I prepare—how would I do this, just make an announcement before each meal? I wouldn’t mind having a “natural” legend printed on my driver’s license, asking forgiveness of any erraticism.

The most effective method to employ the trend to an individual’s benefit, I suppose, would be the wearing of a sign stating that the bearer is a natural human, subject to variations in attitude and temperament, and that these variations should not be considered flaws or defects. I’ll get a sign like that, right after I get the bar code tattooed on the back of my neck.

I knit, and quilt, and sew. I often make mistakes while pursuing these ventures. When I do, my usual custom is to swear a lot, rip out the parts I messed up, and do it again.

Should I have just charged on, finished and gift-wrapped the items for their new owners with a tag that says, in effect, “it’s natural that one sleeve is three inches longer than the other, or one quilt piece is upside-down and backward, because I screwed up”?

One time while stitching some quilt pieces, I inadvertently sewed a block to the leg of my jeans. I don’t think calling it “natural” would have helped any.

You know how sometimes you buy things that you have to put together yourself, like bicycles or fans or shelves? And some critical piece is missing, so that you have to pack everything all up again, try to get it back into the box, return it and go home praying that the replacement isn’t missing the same (or another) critical piece? Would a disclaimer saying the pieces were packed naturally make you any happier?

So when is “natural” a valid designation of something that was not mass-produced, and when does it become a euphemism for “not as good as something that was mass-produced”? I suppose, when the variations in a thing please you. The un-sameness of pages of handmade paper pleases me. Packing shelving with nuts that are a different size than the bolts, not so much.

Someone once told me everything is natural: If you do it, think it, say it, enjoy it, it’s in your nature, so it’s natural behavior. If it exists, it exists in nature, so it’s natural.

It’s semantics, but so is most of marketing. Words like “natural” used to sell things apply more to what a consumer wants, than to what a consumer is getting.

It’s only natural.

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